what are the odds this ends and we don't meet again?

Exams are over! I return! 

(Yes, these are the only outfit photos I've taken for the past fortnight ><)

So... Freedom! I don't really know what to say or feel. Happiness but also fear? Well, my music exam went really well (I feel) and that was the only one I was really worried about so, huge sigh of relief! German and English went well too :) Now I just have to work out what to do with the rest of my life...

For now, hopefully I'll be posting a lot more on here, and I'll get back to reading all your blogs too! This unofficial hiatus has actually made me a lot more enthusiastic about blogging. 

Although I've been avoiding the internet whilst I've been studying, I have been updating my writing blog quite a lot recently. I haven't been writing poetry or prose consistently for what feels like (and probably really has been...) years, so my words are still clumsy sometimes, but it would really mean a lot to me if you would take a look. 

So, what are all your summer plans? I've got a few job interviews to look forward to but other than that it looks like I've got 2 months of emptiness ahead of me! Then I'm off to Budapest, Rome and Florence with my best friends. I have a good feeling about this summer, and even though I've no idea what I'll be doing, I have a good feeling about next year too. 

another sunny day

Summer is difficult.

Dress - New Look; sunglasses - my Dad's

Random things from my week. 1 - food sorta motivates me. 2 - my highlighters make everything a little more cheerful :) 3 - Kipper 4 - random amounts of hot water, instant coffee, cocoa powder, sugar and milk combine to make... something really disgusting.

hottest city in Europe?

Unimpressed... and so blurry. I'm sorry T_T

Top, cardigan & shorts - thrifted; belt - Primark

Summer clothes really do nothing good for my figure. ~vanity moment. 

Yesterday was painfully hot and being on the crowded bus for nearly an hour made me wonder whether I really want to stay in the city for, what, the next four years? It's a very trivial thing to base such a big decision on, I know. A microcosm of my entire life, or something. 

But it's okay, because I have an entire year to decide! If I can even get into a good Uni in the city, that is. AND I KNOW I NEED AN A IN MUSIC THIS YEAR BUT SOMEHOW THAT STILL DOESN'T MOTIVATE ME!?

I guess I am distracted by other things. More than anything, I'm scared about my gap year. I'm scared because it feels as if everyone is going off to Uni in September/October and leaving me behind, although I know that really we are all just moving on with our lives in different ways. I've never been someone who needs people. I'm really quite happy to do things on my own and actually, this seems to confuse other people somewhat often. And I know that one way or another, I'll make new friends next year. I've just put myself in a difficult position as I don't have any big plans for next year and now I feel as if I'm losing everyone. But I think it is what's right.

At long last, the song I wrote:

now I can't use song lyrics

I'm trying only to listen to classical music until my exam. It's not so difficult.

Cardigan & bow tie - thrifted; shirt - Gap; skirt - H&M; belt - Primark

I actually did a little revision this morning. Waha! 

And still my video doesn't appear. I'm not that keen on the kind of songs I'm writing these days, anyway. I find myself very bland. I'm desperate to multi-track and record in better quality and so on but I know I shouldn't do that now because I'll get so into it that I'll forget about exams and do terribly and if this little music thing doesn't work out, well, I'll be doomed forever. :)

words turn to rain

New clothes are the best. Especially when they are golden, sparkly and cost only £1.50.

Not that you can really see the sparkles here :( :( 

Jumper & scarf - thrifted; skirt - Uniqlo

Well, this morning I wrote the birthdates of some composers on colourful post-it notes so I'll count that as revision. Otherwise I was productive! I fixed my guitar and recorded a pretty boring and cliché song but the tone of my new strings is so lovely, I couldn't resist! 

Alas; I can't seem to find it on the blogger youtube client right now, maybe not fully uploaded. Take this instead.

I desperately want to read new blogs! And I'm finally going to put together a blogroll soon too, so comment with your blogs and I'll check them out :)

I just can't study

Top - thrifted; skirt - H&M; belt & tights - Primark

Music is the worst because I just count listening to stuff like this as revision, and I learn nothing

but this is good.

The Return

Shirt - thrifted; cardigan - Uniqlo

The last few weeks have been a mixture of every emotion I've felt in my life, but now I am suddenly calm. 

THIS IS WHAT I FEEL